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Teaching Social Literacy Through Behaviour Policy
Authentic Learning Environment December 2018 There was a problem among the children at our weekly Home Education group, a mixed age group ranging from three years to 14 years, numbers sometimes reaching around 15 on a busy day. As with many communication breakdowns, it began slowly, the first signs were spotted one late summer afternoon. By winter the breakdown had escalated to younger children not wanting to play with the main group, older children wanting to break off into a small group, and tears for one child several weeks in a row. This was behaviour which was not violent enough to step in straight away, yet was clearly causing distress and unrest among the whole group. The children had had the time and opportunity to sort it out themselves, but now there was a call for help, it was time to step in. These children, this group, needed guidance. As a Home Education group, this social setting of free play is an important part of their ‘education’. It is in playing that children grow their communication skills and their social skills, both important aspects of socialisation. Our first response when guidance is needed usually comes from the traditional ways of ‘guiding’ children where the adults go in to fix the situation. They find the child/children whose behaviour needs correction, they explain what the children should and should not do, and perhaps they issue sanctions and rewards. We may also hear their stories, who did what to whom, then deliver the children a guiding rule to live by. Or we may simply skip that and have a word with the parent, who can in turn sort it out with their child directly, behind closed doors. These traditional authoritarian methods can leave us unable to understand children’s behaviours, we may find conflict emotionally charged or immobilizing, and confrontation rather uncomfortable. Traditional methods also remove any opportunity for the children to do the learning, in what is essentially their social learning situation. Now we had an authentic opportunity to guide the children through their problem, while delivering the skills and knowledge to develop Social Literacy. With skills like these, they would be able to function when any other challenges arose and would not be so dependent on adults to ‘sort it out’. This also would give them transitional Life Skills; to fix it for them, hide it behind closed doors or deliver some rules, would be robbing them of a learning opportunity. A group meeting was called for children and parents. The Meeting This meeting required a crash course in Social Literacy and the Anatomy of Behaviour, which would lay the foundation for them to design a Behaviour Policy and Procedure that would work for their group. Agreement We begin by outlining and agreeing on what we are there to talk about and how we will speak to each other at the meeting. Beginning a meeting this way offers simple-to-follow social parameters to make such a meeting work smoothly, using the very skills we seek to teach. What we are there to talk about We were there to discuss behaviour in the group, the way we communicate and how we relate to each other. Not what happened (“he said”, “she said”, “you did”) – and this distinction is an important one to make. How we would speak to each other during the meeting We agreed to speak to each other kindly with considered responses. Not with reaction-response, where we snap back without thinking – this distinction is an important one to make. There would be an opportunity for everyone to speak. To use descriptive language, be specific – not name calling or labeling. All this needed explaining in clear language, for a mixed age audience with varying social skills and cognitive ability. What is Social Literacy? Just like reading and writing is a ‘literacy’, there is ‘social literacy’. Social Literacy is where we learn and develop the ability to read and translate what people are saying. We become capable in communication and negotiation, in various situations, a variety of ‘languages’. Social literacy is our ability to express our needs and to get along with others. Like reading and writing, it can take time to learn where to ‘put the semi colon’ or ‘how our actions impact on others’. This input (reading) and output (delivery) is the ‘serve and return’ that makes up a healthy working relationship. Skills like empathy, self-regulation and emotional intelligence play a big role here. This is something many schools do not teach; in fact, many people leave school because of bullying. Many of us have come all the way through the school system and yet we still struggle with communication breakdowns: we find ourselves very likely to attack or be defensive (fight), to steer away from confrontation (flight), or to not know what to do (freeze). Many of us have to work on these skills later in life. More recently government initiatives have been introduced to teach ‘Social and Emotional Learning’; perhaps spurred on by the growing body of research which shows social literacy being widely accepted as one of the leading factors for success, well-being and happiness in life. There is an emphasis on ‘emotional’, because social skills develop naturally alongside emotional development. Many of us can feel this because social situations are often tied up with emotions; we may fear confrontation, we may get angry at injustice and are delighted with acts of kindness. Success comes with the social mobility to communicate with others in a variety of situations, taking us anywhere we want to go in life, in many more social circles and with the ability to cross over with ease. To begin with children are only as skilled as the people around them, but later in life as their social world expands they can expand their skill set modelling the skills of others. Social literacy develops while the emotional relational brain (limbic system) is in development, and when the children have the time to learn and practice the skills with others. Identify the Problem Why were we there and what were we there to talk about? How do you identify ‘the problem’ the group had without judgement, finger pointing or shaming? This is a technique that requires us to be language aware and able to sort description, opinion and judgement. When we are fluent in this technique, we can manage, translate and deliver communication in a non-threatening way. Instead of starting with what was “wrong”, we started by grasping the idea, image and feeling of what it was like when all was well in their group. We described what it was like when they looked forward to every Friday to be with each other, how the play was good fun and their friendships felt good. This vision is what the group aims to achieve. We then discussed the idea, the image and the feeling of a communication breakdown in the group. Yes, we had seen behaviour that was hurting people physically and emotionally, we had seen teasing, name calling. Much of this was repeated, there had been tears a few weeks in a row. We referred to a printout of the Governments definition of ‘bullying’, where many of the behaviours found in this communication breakdown matched up with most of the behaviours listed on the Governments definition. Without touching on any of the groups’ behaviours each item listed on the definition required a description, just in case any learner was not fully aware of what a word meant or referred to. They now had ‘in mind’ the idea-image-feeling of when the group was a place they wanted it to be as well as the place they did not want to be. Holding these two opposing ideas-images-feelings in mind, and still being able to function is a skill, it is the ‘black belt’ of Empathy. This part of the meeting offers an opportunity to develop that skill. Intended or Unintended? We ticked nearly all the behavioural clues for bullying, but was it? There was one unchecked point on the government’s definition checklist: bullying is intentional*. Was this the behaviour in our group “intentional”? The brain science suggests it might not be intentional – our reactions might just be coming out of the parts of our brain that are set to protect ourselves. The behavioural science says that it might not be intentional – we might need some social feedback of what is okay and what is not okay, or co-regulation for a challenging environment. Culture can have a big part in unintentional behaviour – we can unwittingly carry on with what we know as ‘normal’ or ‘the traditional way’ we have grown up in. It is when we come to realise that what is ‘normal’ in some environments, might not be normal in others that we see what culture is – and culture can be changed. We needed to remember that these kids were ‘in development’, their brains are setting up the structures and functions. We also needed to remember that they are learning to regulate their emotions and communicate well, and this is best done through experience. Playing, communicating and integrating with each other, that is how we develop social skills. Social skills are learned on the job, from those around us and not from a book for a lesson plan. Learning though experience, by doing, by using skills, is one of the most effective ways of learning. Whether intentional or unintentional, these learners needed to be approached as learners developing a skill set. Anatomy of Behaviour There are the two important areas of the head brain that affect behaviour, the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. 
How do you convey concepts about brains, unusual words, and things you cannot see to a mixed age group? Make it real, use images and colour. We all have a real head, brain in that head, and we all have a hand - Dr. Dan Siegel’s (very handy) hand model gave us the simple vehicle to understanding the anatomy of the head brain. Fingers are the top of the brain is called the cortex, represented by your fingers. This is the area that makes association between different ideas, experiences, needs. It is the part of the brain known as the “thinking brain”. Thumb and palm, the thumb is your limbic area and connects upward to the cortex, and downward to the area your palm which represents your brain stem. The Brain Stem is the oldest part of the head brain and is known as the “reptilian brain” - think crocodile. It takes in information from the body and helps regulate all those automatic body functions like breathing, digestion your food and how our heart functions. The Limbic System is where the amygdala is. The amygdala is responsible for emotions, moods and is our “emotional alarm system”. It detects and reacts to threats based on what it perceives to be threatening, it is the survival mode to keep us safe from danger or harm. Our alarm systems can get activated not only when there is something dangerous or harmful, but also when it perceives something as being dangerous or harmful. This is an important distinction to make. At the very front of the fingers is the prefrontal cortex which integrates the whole lot to work together (cortex, limbic area, brainstem, body and social world). When the pre-frontal cortex is active, we can regulate our impulsive reactions, we can observe with logic instead of fear, and are able to see things from another’s point of view while not feeling threatened. We can recognise when we are becoming over-stressed and why, and know what to do about it, responding appropriately to social and stressful situations. The whole organism works in harmony, that’s self-regulation, and our inner harmony helps regulate those around us, this is known as co-regulation. The thumb and palm - brain stem and limbic area - work together. When the alarm goes off, our body can automatically go into survival mode which is known as Fight, Flight, Freeze or Faint. This makes big changes in our body; our breathing quickens, digestion slows or stops, our heart rate increases, breathing quickens, eyes dilate and adrenaline increases so that we are physically ready to fight, run away or play dead. It also changes our behaviour, we become defensive and attack, use force which can be dangerous and harmful to others (fight). Or it might be that we run or cling to safety (flight), or simply go all despondent and shut down (freeze or faint). Flipping our Lid When the limbic system is active, the “thinking brain” is not working. It is one or the other. When the activity is in the limbic system, the top part of the brain goes ‘off line’, the fingers flip up, this gives a very strong visual of how we ‘flip our lid’. How do we communicate with someone who has flipped their lid and bring them back on-line? Think trying to calm a crocodile. Working with someone whose limbic system is active, or who has flipped their lid requires a gentle approach, so they feel safe and can engage the thinking brain – and that may mean adjusting our behaviour towards them. When we feel safe there is no need to be on alert, no need to protect ourselves with fighting, fleeing or nonresponsive behaviour. “The hand model of the brain is very useful, because when you know about the parts of the brain you can learn how to direct your attention in a way that can get certain areas to not only get activated, but also to start working together. And you can change both the function and the structure of your brain, by knowing about how the brain is structured.” - Dr. Dan Siegel By giving the group information about the anatomy of behaviour, they would have a vocabulary to identify behaviour in descriptive terms, not having to fall back on opinion or judgement. Developing prefrontal cortex connections and amygdala regulation is important when developing social literacy. Knowing about how the brain is structured can help us function. Design and Agree on Policy and Procedure After learning about social literacy and the anatomy of behaviour, we revisited the list of behaviours on the definition of bullying. The children were able to locate which area of the brain was activated from the list of behaviours they did not want in their group – the “emotional alarm center”. This is an important distinction to make. When we can start recognising behaviour and linking it to the part of the brain which is activated, we can start approaching the behaviour of others, and our own behaviour, in a new way. Putting these pieces all together formed a platform of understanding for the group. A platform from which they could then build their own policy with Behaviour Strategies, Definition and Procedure. Behaviour Strategies To design the Behaviour Strategies we visited these questions - • If someone is hurting you (emotionally/physically) what can you do to gently let them know, in a way that will feel safe? Some of the answers the group arrived at were; tell them to stop, don’t hurt them back and say what it not okay for you. We then talked about how helpful it is when we are specific about what it is, the more information in descriptive form, the better our feedback and communication delivery is. • If you see someone hurting another person (emotionally/physically), what can you do? Sometimes we do step in to help each other, and we can help by: pointing out that our friend appears not to be enjoying the way they are being related to or treated. • If you see someone looking upset when you are relating to them – what can you do? Read their cues like facial expressions, reactions, behaviour – this is our cue to adjust our behaviour. • Finally, was there anything else that would help them and their group? We looked at how our list so far might apply to a variety of situations: what if someone wants to be left alone, what if the request to stop was unfair, what if something was offensive to one person and normal to another? With each question, we linked back to our ability to activate the ‘thinking brain’, our need to feel safe, and our responsibility while holding two different image- idea-feelings in mind. The following strategies were added to the list; to be kind to each other, when someone is being kind tell them you liked that, respect each other’s personal space, be response-able for your own behaviour. Behaviour Definition Why reinvent the wheel? The government Definition of Bullying had already offered us a list of communication breakdown and amygdala-led behaviours that the group didn’t want to see. We agreed to use this list to illustrate what was not okay in our group; behaviour that hurts someone either physically emotionally, physical assault, teasing, making threats, name calling, cyberbullying. Some additional points were proposed and agreed on, swearing and rude body language were added, they were seen as not right for a group with very young children. Intended By now it was obvious, that while we are learning, our intentional and unintentional behaviour is how we learn. It may come across as intentional if we are not able to read feedback – and it is with gentle feedback we develop the ability to read, and giving gentle feedback helps us to develop a healthy limbic and on-line prefrontal cortex. Repeated Picking up a new skill or changing a habit rarely happens first time. We need to allow some time and attempts, within reason, as long as no one was getting hurt. What if gentle feedback isn’t working, what if someone is being hurt? This question led the conversation smoothly into looking at Procedure. Procedure While a big part of the procedure is to inform, educate and bring understanding to the group, the procedure lays out practical steps for using Social Literacy.
The goal is to develop self-regulation, effective communication and conflict resolution skills. This development sees the reduction and prevention of anti-social and bullying behaviours. There are times where unwanted behaviours may be repeated, and it is our ability to detecting instead of correcting that can help steer those struggling toward healthy development. Maintaining a safe and secure environment may require us to -
These decisions largely depend on the nature of the behaviour and the availability of self-regulating adults. It is important that such decisions are overseen by someone who can identify real threat, one that would impinge on the healthy development of the rest of the children in the group. This approach not only sees behaviour though a different lens, it also works on the premise that we fix the environment, not the child. Making an Intentional Change When the meeting ended, the children were empowered by their own policy, they had the seeds to build peaceful conflict resolution skills, skills they could develop in practise and master together. More importantly, no one was labelled, shamed, isolated or punished for learning. If we want to teach social and emotional learning in school when children are at the prime age in their social development, we need to start with behaviour policies and procedures. Our current policies may be unintentionally teaching the very behaviours they seek to correct. We can intentionally make the change to raise the level of social literacy in our culture. For our Home Education group, it starts by changing the cycle here. * Intentional, when one person intentionally targets one person with aggressive and unwanted behaviours References and further reading/watching -
‘Bullying - a definition’ www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/bullying-a-definition ‘Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain’ WATCH (8min 15sec) ‘The Heart-Brain Connection: The Neuroscience of Social, Emotional, and Academic Learning’ by Richard Davidson WATCH (20mins) ‘Self Reg’ by Dr Stuart Shanker ISBN: 9781594206092 Small Acres School 'Anti-bullying Policy' by Virginia Carrington |
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